She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
