When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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