I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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