there was a trapeze. enough said
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
