Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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