Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
