He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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