Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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