There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
