What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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