Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
