i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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