This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.