She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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