ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
