i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
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You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
is it fun? or sober?
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