Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
