I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize