we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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