The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
