...so i touched it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
