I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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