Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I need a beard to bite.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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