remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
