Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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