dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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