You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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