just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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