I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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