thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
