how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
