were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize