theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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