A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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