Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...