the condom got lost in my hair
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
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There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.