I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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