And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.