Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.

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(719): View more from Colorado

im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...

(719): View more from Colorado

LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..

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(802): View more from Vermont

you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.

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(514): View more from Quebec

He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?

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(972): View more from Texas

On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia

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(706): View more from Georgia

New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.

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