theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no