so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
