Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
