I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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