She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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