The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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