My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.