how can u be prego again
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.