How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened