really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money