You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
