VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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