Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
