I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
