He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
