Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
