It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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