let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
