I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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