this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
