Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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