The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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